Thanks to all those who voted last week in The Midwestern Bite Choose Your Own Adventure.

The results are in and it was a close one. Not really, the donuts won by a donutslide.

No matter how hard I try to fight donuts, they always win. I mean, I was kinda looking forward to reliving a nice vacation. And those bird pictures always make me smile. And I wanted to share the Key Lime Study because I think the pictures came out pretty great. Of course there was no recipe because low sugar, Paleo friendly Key Lime recipes are awful so you all saw through me there.

So here we are at the donuts. The donuts that always win.

I’m going to tell you a little story. A story which I’d like to preface by saying that I truly love all characters involved. These are some of my favorite memories and I wouldn’t have things any other way.

A long time ago, in a job far far away, Friday was donut day. Always, without fail, donut day. The company Aunt (the sweetest and spunkiest eighty year old I know) would bring in a white box packed full of the tastiest donuts in town. White cream filled. Boston cream filled. Raspberry filled. Cake with sprinkles. Caramel with peanuts. Glazed. Blueberry. I could go on.

The Aunt was convinced we all needed to eat a donut from the large white box. Whether you were on a diet, diabetic, eating healthy, eating for two, didn’t like donuts, had already eaten, or just didn’t want one was irrelevant. Everyone was to eat a donut.

I’ll be the first to confess . . . I like donuts. I do. Who doesn’t? As a kid my family got donuts after church every Sunday (there was a coupon in the bulletin so how could we not) and three out of that white box were reserved for me. Three. For one kid. Clearly I have a sweet tooth.

Back to the Aunt. At this particular junction in my life I was just starting to pay better attention to my eats. And avoiding donuts. There is no greater test of will than to pass on sweets in the breakroom.

When donuts are “mandatory,” however, there is a hole (little donut humor for ya) new challenge in avoiding them. Each Friday it became harder and harder. Do I lie and say I already had one when asked? No. I don’t prefer to lie. It’s a bad habit I refuse to start. Do I be seen taking a donut from the box just to chuck it in the trash later? No. That’s wasteful and someone empties my trash for me . . . I could be caught. Do I take a donut, store it in a zip lock baggie and bring it home for the Husband to eat? This actually worked for awhile till the Husband decided to give up donuts too. Drat. That only left confrontation. I would simply have to say I didn’t want a donut.

Honesty is the name of my game and often gets me into trouble. Don’t ask me if I like your new haircut because, trust me, I’ll tell ya.

The Aunt finds me. “Did you have a donut?”

“Oh no, but thank you.”

“Oh honey, you have to get a donut.”

“Thanks, but no.”

“But I got your favorite flavor.”

“I’m really trying to eat healthy.”

“Oh hush, you’re skinny, you can have a donut.”

“I’ve already eaten breakfast.”

“Well, you can have one for lunch then.”

“That’s a lot of sugar for lunch.”

“Oh honey, does sugar bother you?”

“No, I just don’t want a donut.”

But apparently you all do, so here they are.

This recipe is just slightly altered from the fabulous Roost website, so if it interests you at all you should check out their original here. If you have no interest in grain free recipes, but love amazing photography go ahead and check ‘em out as well. I’m thrilled to give credit where credit is due, because let’s be honest here, almond flour is pricey and my current employment doesn’t exactly pay in cold hard cash. So a big thanks to Roost for footing the expense of experimentation. Next time I order almond flour (which will be soon since I’m about out) I am sooooo getting to Honeyville through their site in the hopes that they get five cents from my transaction. I have no clue if that actually works, but the sentiment is there.

Roost Inspired Almond Flour Donuts that Taste Like Muffins

1 ¼ cups almond flour (room temperature works best)

¼ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon baking soda

freshly grated nutmeg – eh, I say wing the quantity here and just grate away

zest of 3 make that 6 key limes

3 eggs

¼ cup coconut oil, melted

1 ½ teaspoons vanilla

2 tablespoons honey

4 tablespoons lemon lime carbonated drink

2 tablespoons chia seeds

Mix your dry. Mix your wet. Mix your dry and wet.  I used a food processor here.

Pour into donut mold greased with coconut oil.

Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 12 minutes.

This recipe made about ten donuts for me. Nine if you don’t count the one that broke coming out of the pan I had to eat. Eight if you don’t count the one the Husband stole to taste. Seven if you don’t count the one I ate because I claimed it was broken but it really really really wasn’t.

The batch I made contained the zest of 3 key limes, but was too subtle for me so next time I plan to up it to 6 for a little tang.

Top the donuts any way you please. I did a variety of course, kinda like the white box. Some were plain. Some were topped with coconut butter and grated coconut. Some were dunked in powdered sugar glaze. Some were dunked in powdered sugar glaze and topped with coconut.

Serve what’s left to your guests or eat three in a row yourself thinking you finally outsmarted the donuts.

Or is it doughnuts? Probably neither because I thought they tasted like muffins. So I altered the recipe a little more and made them into muffins.

We can talk about that on Wednesday. Unless you’d prefer to talk about how the Husband found an edible weed called Lamb’s Quarter growing off the back deck (he thinks) and so he cooked it up and ate it. It’s your choice.

- Joanna

P.S. I think I’m gonna take a nice white box of donuts out to the Aunt . . . maybe even the kind with sugar.  For old time’s sake.

Question of the Day: Muffins or Lamb’s Quarter? A or B?

Raspberries. The Pete and I were at Sam’s Club last week picking up five items that somehow managed to total 70 bucks when a tub of Raspberries impulsively called my name. I try to buy organic berries but I let my guard down and into the world’s largest grocery cart they came.

I segue – as a side note, a giant cart with a listing wheel is way worse than a regular sized cart with a listing wheel and this is all compounded even further when you have a Pete strapped to your front in a sling. You may ask, why not just get another cart? Well, I had already sanitized the handle and had successfully made it past the all important woman checking my card to ensure I was allowed to enter the store. Clearly it’s an exclusive club.

Back to the berries. I’m pretty boring when it comes to fruit consumption. Usually I just rinse and eat. If I feel like cleaning the blender, I’ll make a smoothie. On a wacky day I add them to yogurt or oatmeal (yeah, I do eat the stuff, I just don’t like to talk about it).

So, I like raspberries. They are not my favorite (hello strawberries) but I like them. And they are pretty which nowadays, much thanks to all of you, is a bigger consideration when grocery shopping. Even the Iron Chef’s are judged on presentation so pretty is important in the food world.

The problem with all of this is that if you have a “food” blog (although if I had to classify myself I think “satire” is more appropriate) you are expected to make some crazy and new concoction with your raspberries. I’m not a chef. I just like raspberries. I also just really like photographing raspberries.

What are the chances you’d all stick around if I just told funny stories and posted random pictures of food that had no relevance to anything? . . . Yeah, that’s what I thought.

All of this talk begs the question, what did I do with the raspberries?

Obviously I put them on my new favorite photography prop that I found on the wood pile.

And ate some plain.

And cooked them into coconut flour pancakes, took pictures with my cell phone and then promptly deleted them because my phone was low on storage space and I needed room to take more pics of the Pete climbing over his toys.

And made Raspberry Syrup for the pancakes, took pictures with my cell phone and then promptly deleted them because my phone was low on storage space and I needed room to take more pics of the Pete pulling the DVD’s off the shelf second from the bottom (he is sooooo over the bottom shelf).

And made Raspberry Slush. Oh, a recipe picture finally!

And made Raspberry Chocolate Pecan Almond Flour Thingamajigers.

So I did fancier things . . . are you all happy???

Pancakes are self explanatory. Make coconut flour pancakes from Faith at gracefulfitness . . . top one side with berries before flipping. You’re okay without a visual for that one right? Good.

Raspberry Syrup. Mix some berries, some water (juice would be great here too), some all fruit jelly and a little honey. Cook it down. I didn’t write down quantities here – just dump things in a sauce pan and I promise you can’t mess it up.

Raspberry Slush, also known as a deconstructed popsicle. Blend 1 cup raspberries, 1 ½ cups coconut milk (I used the stuff in the cartoon, not the can, although a can would be fine too), 2 tablespoons agave nectar or honey. Pour into a pan. Freeze for half hour. Scrape. Freeze for half hour. Scrape. Freeze for half hour. Scrape. You get the jist here. May I suggest doing this while watching a movie? It makes the time between scrapings slide by.

You could also of course pour the mixture into popsicle molds, which is all the rage in the blog world these days. This is great unless you forget the stick is plastic (and kinda important if you ever want to make popsicles again) and accidentally throw it away when you’re done. Yeah, I did that. Twice.

Raspberry Chocolate Pecan Almond Flour Thingamajigers. Stop back next Monday for a recipe and more on these. I know I’m a blog tease, I just have lots to say on this topic.

And stop back Saturday for June Foodie Pen Pals.

And stop back Friday for a guest post from the Father-In-Law.

- Joanna

Question of the Day: What’s your favorite berry?

Back on Wednesday when I was jabbering on about raspberries,

I mentioned I would be back on Monday to talk about Raspberry Chocolate Pecan Almond Flour Thingamajigers.  Right then, so here I am, true to my word.

You may be wondering why  I call them Thingamajigers.  What are they exactly?  A cookie?

A muffin?

Neither?  Both?  I considered going the cutesy route and combining names, like Brangelina or TomKat.  Okay, maybe TomKat’s a bad example because like Tom and Jerry, they just weren’t meant to be together.  The only cookie muffin combination I could come up with, however, was “coffin” and that just doesn’t sound yummy in a baked good.

While we’re on the subject of coffins, can we talk about how Thingamajigers die?  Awesome.  Here’s the thing . . . stacking food is a big deal in the blog world.  Everybody does it.  Despite the fact you wouldn’t stack food to serve it or eat it, apparently it’s mandatory to create the leaning tower of pastries when photographing dessert.

Sometimes it works.

Sometimes it doesn’t.

That, faithful readers, is how Thingamajigers die.

I’m not eating anything off that wood pile, would you???  Perhaps stacking food should be restricted to perfectly square things to avoid casualties.

Raspberry Chocolate Pecan Almond Flour Thingamajigers

Ingredients:

2 cups almond flour (* edited to add…I used 2 cups PACKED almond flour*)

1 stick butter, softened

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 egg

1/4 tsp salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon almond extract

1/2 cup raspberries

1/2 cup chopped, toasted pecans

1/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions:

With a hand mixer, mix butter sugar, egg, vanilla extract, almond extract and raspberries. Slowly mix in almond flour, baking soda and salt.  Stir in pecans and chocolate chips.  Mixture will be wet.  Loosely place in one inch balls on a silicone baking sheet.  Smush down for “cookiey thimgamajigers” or leave poofy for “muffiny thingamajigers”.  Bake for 15 minutes in a 350 degree oven.

These thingamajigers are quite tasty . . . just barely sweet, crunchy on the outside, fluffy on the inside with just a hint of berry flavor.

I liked them.  The husband liked them.  We had them finished off within 24 hours.  In fact as I type this sitting on the couch, he asked me if I could make him some more.  Nope, I said, gonna blog about them instead.

- Joanna

Question of the Day: What’s the craziest name you’ve made up for a recipe?